Watch the video below to hear the song, or click this link to read the lyrics. : )
The Ploughman’s Poetry Discussion. The Winner Takes It All – Björn Ulvaeus
The lyrics to ‘The Winner Takes It All’ seem to be comparable to that of the most devastating poem that I have read. They call out to that pain which comes with a breakup, to that inaugural pining for return and that undercurrent of deep rage which seems to overpower your attempts to let go.
I think what I find the most devastating about these lyrics is that we watch as our speaker not only shifts blame, but creates a whole fantastical world of God’s throwing dice and almighty judges deciding the fate of their relationship. It seems so hard for them to accept that it was just their beloved leaving them that they will find and create blame in anything that they can. Nestled within this blame, the speaker tries and tries to convince themself that they are okay and break-ups happen, yet even despite this, their emotions find a way to overpower this rationale as they ask “Why?”.
Additionally, the way that the song is structured mirrors the cyclical thoughts of the speaker in regards to the breakup. The order of this cycle seems to be:
- An acceptance of the relationship ending
- A reminder of the power imbalance between them and their beloved
- A submission to ruminating about the relationship
- A shifting of blame to an un-worldly power
This cyclical structure within the verses of the song serves as a painful reminder of the way that the mind works when in such emotional turmoil: when somebody so integral to your being leaves, your thoughts are propelled into this vast abyss of conflicting emotions.
Another idea within these lyrics which stands out, is that the speaker, who has been wronged and is left deeply broken, is still trying to be kind to their beloved. They ask themselves: “Why should I complain?” and says that it is not their intention to make their love feel bad. And then, in the final culmination of emotion comes the line:
“But you see / The Winner Takes It All”
It is the passion that this line is sung with, the slight step back and kindness spoken with the “But you see” before they remind their love of the truth. It’s as if they are saying: ‘I wish to give you absolution, I really do, but you have left me completely broken. That is the truth. I know that I shouldn’t complain for it would be to no avail and so I do accept that you have left. But still, however much time passes, you have still won and I have still lost.’
For me, and I presume for many others too, the most devastating line has to be:
“But tell me does she kiss / Like I used to kiss you?”
I mean, wow. The emotional intensity, the physical, bodily image of our speakers lips being replaced with the nameless “she”. There seems to be no better depiction of the aching, aching grief felt within a breakup than this question here. And then to follow on by saying: “Somewhere deep inside / You must know I miss you / But what can I say? / Rules must be obeyed.” The yielding of the English language that Björn Ulvaeus has to write these lyrics is phenomenal, and must not be ignored.
The whole song is utterly heartwrenching. The speaker knows that it is all in vain. They accept that they have lost yet find themself incapable of acceptance, incapable of not wondering about the next woman and incapable of not tearing themselves apart within their loss. I find it hard to comprehend lyrics as well written as these.
The Ploughman’s Community Comments:
tonyohanlan77, Reddit User: Benny gets a lot of plaudits as a composer (rightly so), but Bjorn was one hell of a lyricist.
Sophie, Wales: I have also really liked “Tell me does she kiss like I used to kiss you”, however, my favourite line has always been “I’ve played all my cards, and that’s what you’ve done too”. I think the emotion conveyed in this statement is so relatable. I gave it my all and so did you, yet that was not enough. Although I have also wondered if they actually did give it their all, or does the writer just feel like they have to acknowledge an equal amount of effort into the relationship, even if they don’t actually feel that way?
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